June 29, 2010

The early part of the day was normal. Normal as in nothing-special-had-happened normal. I just got to my classes and did what I needed to do: listen; take down notes; and even talk about group works.

The morning had passed with nothing much to reveal, but my day got more interesting as the sun flew from 90 degrees from the horizon - afternoon. I had it all in my mind, i had everything planned. I placed a check list - imaginary - lying on my mind, giving me instructions on what to do next. I passed a photocopy of my Form 5 for the registration for our department varsity. Yes, i couldn't believe that i passed their standards to get through. I had it in my mind that college varsity was like a court filled with skilled players, and I can't believe that I got through.

Our next class was PE, located near Melchor Hall, the building where we were at that moment. It was about 15 minutes before the clock struck 2pm (PE time). We took the Toki jeep - it would take us farther than taking an Ikot route which would take us there in a couple of minutes - to go to the Gymnasium. Gymnasium, the most isolated place in UP. I'm exaggerating, but it's actually far from the common buildings in the campus. As we rode the jeep, the clock kept ticking. The clock didn't wait for anyone, even us. It kept ticking and ticking. Unnoticeable, the clock already hit 2pm and we're seconds late. It took us about a minute to get there and we took off, running with our hearts beating as fast as our legs would hit the ground. I just got in time, my name wasn't called but my friend, didn't make it. She was already late.

After an hour of exhaustion from all the dancing we did in PE, we rushed off to take care of some things. She got a xerox copy of their readings. After that, my day shifted into a solo flight of loneliness and boredom. I went to the Melchor hall, with high hopes of finding someone I could hang out with. I even sent text messages to my blockmates and friends who might be available at that time. Luck wasn't on my side. Everyone was busy. I literally failed. Along with my failure of finding someone, came the unchanging - the weird pattern of the weather. It would rain, then stop, then rain, then stop. It was a full cycle. But that didn't bother me. What was in my mind, I couldn't remember but all I knew was that I need to do something for like an hour. The training for the Engineering Varsity would start at 6pm, but we would rather go there at 5pm. Well it's better early than late. So I took a seat from the steps of the odd wing of Melchor Hall, near the main stairs. I sat there, doing nothing else except reading Hush Hush. Time finally flew by and it's finally time for Eng'g Varsity Training.

My heart was a blender, filled with mixed emotions. I was calm, confident to be exact. At the same time, I was really nervous. I met a few interesting people there. Interesting enough to make me not left out. I felt at home with their presence. I felt at ease. The training started. First came the jogging, then the warm-ups. After that, the drills. That's the most interesting part. The drills were extremely intense, that I didn't know at that time if I still have enough energy for more after all my energy was emptied during PE. I didn't stop. Nothing stopped me. I just continued on, fighting my crave of rest and tried to cope with everybody else. I would dive and let the concrete scratch the sides of my hips and even my legs. I would dive, exposing the once clean sheets of my jersey to the dust from our shoes left on the concrete. Everything was tiring, but it was FUN.

The clock struck 8pm, and I knew for the minute that my dad has been looking for me. I grabbed my cell phone, and yes. I was right. 1 missed call and a message. He asked me my location at the moment. I bid farewell to my new-found friends and headed home. Along the way of Katipunan Ave., I, with earphones stably stuck on my ears, walked past this lady. A lady wearing a duster, its color, I couldn't remember. She was standing there looking at the people passing by, carrying her child on her chest. The child lied on her mom's shoulder, eyes shut, deeply asleep. As I walked by, she was like "excuse me". But i kept on going. I didn't have time to look over my shoulder but I could hear her even with the earphones. I could hear her go "boy". She was calling me. My conscience was split by two. Two opposing forces. Two opposing side. I didn't know if what I did was wrong. I knew that she would for money. I would reply I have none. I would lie. But still, would the money that I would have given her, really help her? Would it really help her child? I didn't know. My mind was only focused on getting home..

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June 28, 2010

No classes for me. No classes usually means a day filled with free time. For me, it's a NO. The day may be breezy but I am trapped within my little box compartment in the corner, isolated from the happy busy world outside. I'm only left with a table full of piles of paper on top - one pile for my readings, and another for my assignments.

As I were reading the busy crowded world of letters placed upon the thin pieces of paper I was holding, my eyes would roll at the sight of the strong contrast between the bold black letters from the clean, neat, whiteness of the material. But I endured every moment thoughts - strong stimuli of making me want to play, making me want to go out - coming inside my brain. I focused on reading and reading alone. Four pages of english essays, and about ten pages of readings for my Kasaysayan class have come past me in a blink of an eye - around 1 and a half hour after. I already finished reading everything but still questions still linger in my mind. The text. I hardly understood the text.

After the pressuring atmosphere from all the reading, I switched to studying for my future lessons in Math. I was still not able to adjust my study habits - in high school, everything was spoon-fed, and now, everything was so fast - and to cope with the fast flowing motion of my world. After an hour or two I finally decided to take a break.


I then sat in front of my computer, and played DOTA, my medicine. It's been a while since i've played but it kept me awake and made me recover from all the stress from reading. It's been a while, and yes, i SUCKED in DOTA, but that didn't stop me from joining pub games.

After a single game, i finally decided to read a part from my newly-bought novel, Hush Hush, and decided to read all the readings and the essays again for a better understanding.


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COLLEGE.!

A leaf that I cherished for four long happy years had come to its end, folding, crumpling, and falling to the ground. But with its death, upon came a new leaf. A leaf that was strange to me at first - barely familiar. It was time to say hello to College life.

Stepping on the campus of UP Diliman, I found it hard to cope with stuff - it was hard to manage my time. I was living in the city of Mandaluyong, about an hour away from the university, and my first subject was at 7AM. I had four straight subjects on my schedule with only an hour break before my last one. What made it harder was that the buildings were far away from each other. Some were like 6-8 minutes away. So I had to walk, brisk walk to be exact, just to make it on time for my next subject. I also established the fact, that after this semester, I would be thinner that ever.

Being used to having sections in High School, I wasn't prepared enough for new faces coming and leaving after an hour-and-a-half subject. I meet new people, with barely a smile on their faces, with their smiles slightly turned upside down. I don't blame them. Walking from building to building is stressing already, and it can surely take away the smile left on your face. I almost feel left out - alone - in every subject I enter. I had no one to talk to, no friends yet. I was almost alone, barely talking to my seatmates, just talking to no one but myself. It only took much courage to know someone's name.

The size and the weight of the books I needed to buy, made me want to go outside the building and get some fresh air. Yes, they were large and deadly heavy. By just looking at it, I got my early nosebleeds. I started wondering if I had sufficient neurons running in my brain to supply me some room for learning. If yes, I would wonder if I could handle the weight of the subject. If not, I would wonder if jogging would be a nice idea to stimulate some new neurons for memory backup. Everything was vague, everything was terrifying.

It took me some time to cope with reality that THIS IS COLLEGE. No more High School, no more bells that signify the end of each period, no more Principals inspecting haircuts, and no more assemblies. After some time, i started liking college. With my new friends around, I can never be left out.

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