June 29, 2010

The early part of the day was normal. Normal as in nothing-special-had-happened normal. I just got to my classes and did what I needed to do: listen; take down notes; and even talk about group works.

The morning had passed with nothing much to reveal, but my day got more interesting as the sun flew from 90 degrees from the horizon - afternoon. I had it all in my mind, i had everything planned. I placed a check list - imaginary - lying on my mind, giving me instructions on what to do next. I passed a photocopy of my Form 5 for the registration for our department varsity. Yes, i couldn't believe that i passed their standards to get through. I had it in my mind that college varsity was like a court filled with skilled players, and I can't believe that I got through.

Our next class was PE, located near Melchor Hall, the building where we were at that moment. It was about 15 minutes before the clock struck 2pm (PE time). We took the Toki jeep - it would take us farther than taking an Ikot route which would take us there in a couple of minutes - to go to the Gymnasium. Gymnasium, the most isolated place in UP. I'm exaggerating, but it's actually far from the common buildings in the campus. As we rode the jeep, the clock kept ticking. The clock didn't wait for anyone, even us. It kept ticking and ticking. Unnoticeable, the clock already hit 2pm and we're seconds late. It took us about a minute to get there and we took off, running with our hearts beating as fast as our legs would hit the ground. I just got in time, my name wasn't called but my friend, didn't make it. She was already late.

After an hour of exhaustion from all the dancing we did in PE, we rushed off to take care of some things. She got a xerox copy of their readings. After that, my day shifted into a solo flight of loneliness and boredom. I went to the Melchor hall, with high hopes of finding someone I could hang out with. I even sent text messages to my blockmates and friends who might be available at that time. Luck wasn't on my side. Everyone was busy. I literally failed. Along with my failure of finding someone, came the unchanging - the weird pattern of the weather. It would rain, then stop, then rain, then stop. It was a full cycle. But that didn't bother me. What was in my mind, I couldn't remember but all I knew was that I need to do something for like an hour. The training for the Engineering Varsity would start at 6pm, but we would rather go there at 5pm. Well it's better early than late. So I took a seat from the steps of the odd wing of Melchor Hall, near the main stairs. I sat there, doing nothing else except reading Hush Hush. Time finally flew by and it's finally time for Eng'g Varsity Training.

My heart was a blender, filled with mixed emotions. I was calm, confident to be exact. At the same time, I was really nervous. I met a few interesting people there. Interesting enough to make me not left out. I felt at home with their presence. I felt at ease. The training started. First came the jogging, then the warm-ups. After that, the drills. That's the most interesting part. The drills were extremely intense, that I didn't know at that time if I still have enough energy for more after all my energy was emptied during PE. I didn't stop. Nothing stopped me. I just continued on, fighting my crave of rest and tried to cope with everybody else. I would dive and let the concrete scratch the sides of my hips and even my legs. I would dive, exposing the once clean sheets of my jersey to the dust from our shoes left on the concrete. Everything was tiring, but it was FUN.

The clock struck 8pm, and I knew for the minute that my dad has been looking for me. I grabbed my cell phone, and yes. I was right. 1 missed call and a message. He asked me my location at the moment. I bid farewell to my new-found friends and headed home. Along the way of Katipunan Ave., I, with earphones stably stuck on my ears, walked past this lady. A lady wearing a duster, its color, I couldn't remember. She was standing there looking at the people passing by, carrying her child on her chest. The child lied on her mom's shoulder, eyes shut, deeply asleep. As I walked by, she was like "excuse me". But i kept on going. I didn't have time to look over my shoulder but I could hear her even with the earphones. I could hear her go "boy". She was calling me. My conscience was split by two. Two opposing forces. Two opposing side. I didn't know if what I did was wrong. I knew that she would for money. I would reply I have none. I would lie. But still, would the money that I would have given her, really help her? Would it really help her child? I didn't know. My mind was only focused on getting home..

Subscribe in a reader

June 28, 2010

No classes for me. No classes usually means a day filled with free time. For me, it's a NO. The day may be breezy but I am trapped within my little box compartment in the corner, isolated from the happy busy world outside. I'm only left with a table full of piles of paper on top - one pile for my readings, and another for my assignments.

As I were reading the busy crowded world of letters placed upon the thin pieces of paper I was holding, my eyes would roll at the sight of the strong contrast between the bold black letters from the clean, neat, whiteness of the material. But I endured every moment thoughts - strong stimuli of making me want to play, making me want to go out - coming inside my brain. I focused on reading and reading alone. Four pages of english essays, and about ten pages of readings for my Kasaysayan class have come past me in a blink of an eye - around 1 and a half hour after. I already finished reading everything but still questions still linger in my mind. The text. I hardly understood the text.

After the pressuring atmosphere from all the reading, I switched to studying for my future lessons in Math. I was still not able to adjust my study habits - in high school, everything was spoon-fed, and now, everything was so fast - and to cope with the fast flowing motion of my world. After an hour or two I finally decided to take a break.


I then sat in front of my computer, and played DOTA, my medicine. It's been a while since i've played but it kept me awake and made me recover from all the stress from reading. It's been a while, and yes, i SUCKED in DOTA, but that didn't stop me from joining pub games.

After a single game, i finally decided to read a part from my newly-bought novel, Hush Hush, and decided to read all the readings and the essays again for a better understanding.


Subscribe in a reader

COLLEGE.!

A leaf that I cherished for four long happy years had come to its end, folding, crumpling, and falling to the ground. But with its death, upon came a new leaf. A leaf that was strange to me at first - barely familiar. It was time to say hello to College life.

Stepping on the campus of UP Diliman, I found it hard to cope with stuff - it was hard to manage my time. I was living in the city of Mandaluyong, about an hour away from the university, and my first subject was at 7AM. I had four straight subjects on my schedule with only an hour break before my last one. What made it harder was that the buildings were far away from each other. Some were like 6-8 minutes away. So I had to walk, brisk walk to be exact, just to make it on time for my next subject. I also established the fact, that after this semester, I would be thinner that ever.

Being used to having sections in High School, I wasn't prepared enough for new faces coming and leaving after an hour-and-a-half subject. I meet new people, with barely a smile on their faces, with their smiles slightly turned upside down. I don't blame them. Walking from building to building is stressing already, and it can surely take away the smile left on your face. I almost feel left out - alone - in every subject I enter. I had no one to talk to, no friends yet. I was almost alone, barely talking to my seatmates, just talking to no one but myself. It only took much courage to know someone's name.

The size and the weight of the books I needed to buy, made me want to go outside the building and get some fresh air. Yes, they were large and deadly heavy. By just looking at it, I got my early nosebleeds. I started wondering if I had sufficient neurons running in my brain to supply me some room for learning. If yes, I would wonder if I could handle the weight of the subject. If not, I would wonder if jogging would be a nice idea to stimulate some new neurons for memory backup. Everything was vague, everything was terrifying.

It took me some time to cope with reality that THIS IS COLLEGE. No more High School, no more bells that signify the end of each period, no more Principals inspecting haircuts, and no more assemblies. After some time, i started liking college. With my new friends around, I can never be left out.

Subscribe in a reader

3am, the devil's hour

Driving my fingers against the keys of the keyboard, I find myself quite sleepy. My eyes felt as heavy as my head. They're slowly closing. I swept my hair with my hand and looked what time is it. It was already 11pm - the streets were all swallowed by the cloak of darkness. The light from the lamppost outside beamed through the linen pieces of my blue curtains, right behind my computer. Everyone's asleep, everyone's called it a day - well except me. I turned the computer off. I went out of my room and went downstairs. The metal edges of our staircase sang below my slippers. Every step was careful, careful enough to avoid waking anyone up. I reached the bathroom and brushed my teeth. Before going out, I took a final glance at myself at the mirror. My face was pale, my lips were red, and my eyes were half-closed. I went to my room and I threw my body into my bed, reaching out for my favorite pillow. I gripped it real hard while I prayed. Then I covered myself in a blanket. I closed my eyes, and it was like minutes, or so, far less than hour, when my eyes suddenly went open. I looked at the clock and it was 3am already. I suddenly felt lonely, my parents usually slept in the bed i am on now, and i usually slept on the cotton surface of my red sofa-bed. My parents were away at time - at the province. And i was left alone with my sister and her husband. I tried to close my eyes one last time as i lied down sidewards on my bed, until something out of the ordinary occurred. A lump of wind, cold as if the air-conditioner was left open, rolled from the ball of my foot, slowly rising to my shoulders. It tickled every single hair i have on my body, leaving them standing on end. 'It was just the electric fan' i thought to myself. Suddenly, i notice a shadow, a man perhaps, walk at the foot of my bed. Then i saw someone in front of me - i could barely see him, but all i see is that he was wearing a red checkered boxer shorts that rests above his knees. 'It's just my brother-in-law, just tripping around' i thought to myself. Then i suddenly felt a weight, a lot of weight, onto my side pressing me hard against the linen sheets, and the cotton layers of my bed. I couldn't see anything except for a shadow, a man, maybe, pressing his cheek against mine. I tried to keep my eyes open but they were fighting against the force of my tissues, of my muscles. I found it hard to keep them open.

'WHO ARE YOU' a voice beside me shouted, i could even feel his breath touch the little hairs on my cheek. His voice was light, a voice of man who seemed to be in his early twenties. I tried to answer but I was paralyzed. Unable to move a limb, my lips, and my head. I wanted to reply back but forces weren't on my side. I lied there, paralyzed. My heart pounded as fast as the beat of an uptempo hip-hop song.
'WHO ARE YOU' repeated the voice. He kept on repeating the same question. This time, i knew something was wrong, i kept on trying to move my right foot.. It took me about 20 minutes until i bolted my foot at thin air, hitting nothing at all. But the weight disappeared after. I took a breath of relief. My body felt warm, as warm as though I was in a sauna. My skin spitted out gallons of sweat, that poured down to my bed.

I know there was a ghost in the house, but i never knew that there was a male one. I asked my mom about this - whether if she has an idea on who that ghost may be. But all she could guess was it was my grandfather, my grandfather who i never knew, who never knew me, whom i never met. But the question is if he is my grandfather why would he ask me my name in an angry way? I've been exposed to quite a number of supernatural phenomenon in our house, but this was the first time it got aggressive. One question still lingers in my mind 'WHOSE GHOST IS THAT?'.


Subscribe in a reader

Difference between RICH AND POOR

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered:

"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?  Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!

personal message

i've been busy in school works that i forgot to give my blog some time. It's been so long since i've last made a blogpost (LOL). And uhmm, i deleted most of my poems for security reasons and left out the other ones.. anyways, welcome to my blog!

Subscribe in a reader

LOVE

What is love? Is it the act of kissing each other's  cherry lips or just hugging each other to death? For me, love is different. Love is giving to people without asking for something in return. Giving people from your heart because you know that they need or want it, is plain love. That is the material part of love. The other side of love is what I like to call "inner love" (I just made that up.) It is liking and caring for people for who they are amidst the differences and weaknesses one may see. Knowing them completely and setting what is good for them first counts as inner love. It is also the act of sharing your time with people whom you know you want to waste your time with - not because you are just forced to do so. To make it simple, inner love is loving them for who they are. If else, then what you are feeling is LUST.

Love is also different from INFATUATION. Infatuation is loving LOVE itself, not the other person. So I say to you lovers out there, what are you really feeling? LOVE? LUST? or just INFATUATION?

Subscribe in a reader

Alone

It was this one morning that I got to experience being alone with nature. I sat along the corners of the basketball court and read my book. I just realized just then that by being alone, I can be someone I did not experience being before. I just became more relaxed and calm. I enjoyed every moment - though my surroundings are noisy - I just looked at good ol' Nature. I enjoyed every whisper of the wind, every dance of the green healthy leaves, and the sweet songs sung by the birds. Every second that passed was like treasure given to me: I got the chance to reflect, to think, to expound my ideas, and to know myself a little bit more. I used to have my friends around me all the time, and I never realized that being alone could be this - FUN.

Subscribe in a reader

Brokenhearted

I was heartbroken, and I finally knew what it feels like. I felt this warmth, an internal boil, inside me. It was like I was guilty the whole time. I wish I didn't decide to love. It was a mistake I will never forget. I felt a shock, as sudden as the lightning hits the ground. It was like something wants to burst out from within me. I could not help but to cry my eyes out of tears. My eyes went dry, went red, and went sore. Everyone, teachers, students, no exceptions, EVERYONE noticed me. I used to hide my emotions, but this time, i failed to. Well I guess this is life. I just need to accept it.

Subscribe in a reader

Love, a hurt totally ignored..

Have you guys experienced liking or let's say loving someone even more than yourself but that someone won't even appreciate it? I mean come on, i don't demand that someone to love me back but at least to appreciate what I'm doing. How does it feel? How did you feel during that times?

I had my experiences and i know you had yours. But so far, all I can say is that generally having that kind of scenario, no one can feel happy about it.

Okay, sharing time. I had this experience with a guy whom I thought really loved me. He is cute, funny, chubby, and not that tall. We started as being friends and we suddenly formed a strong bond that later grew to love. It was like we were two far mountains joined together by a strong mighty bridge that I thought would never fall apart. I'll cut the story short. I was the first one to confess and he did too after that. So I fell deeply in love and he SAID he did too. So we started going out, and that's where the pains began.

During our dates, he never mentioned anything except for HIS GIRLS. Nothing more, nothing less. How would he expect me to feel,.? I'm only like number 5? Is that even fair,.? I didn't mind my crushes for him since then and that''s how he would repay me,.?! I totally ignored it for i know he's just airy., Then after that our relationship grew deeper, but i guess it was all a mirage, a dream turned nightmare. He mentioned all his love interests in his general text messages and it really included me.. You're right, i was like the 5th. It was really unfair, I put him 1st above anyone else including myself and i was only 5th for him. I ignored this again, and because of that, the pain really lingered long and hard. Everything i've done was made into a huge joke and every sacrifices were made into trash.

Subscribe in a reader

Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince

**May contain Spoilers**
As always, it was a great movie. I loved the plot especially the twists it had. All characters were emphasized, not one of them was left behind especially the newly introduced ones. They blended in so well. If asked what I loved about the movie most, it would be the PLOT. There were so many plotholes at first, though they were explained in the latter part, they became the root of the twists. I got them coming. I knew things are gonna end like they did in the movie, but still, it didn't lose impact on the audiences, including me. Second thing I loved about the movie was RON and HERMIONE. Two developed characters, opposite characters, starting to have something in common.

Long story cut short, it was a great film,.!!

Subscribe in a reader

Angelina to Return in Wanted 2.,.?

Angelina Jolie portrayed a strong character named Fox, the fraternity's second-in-command. I actually think she was indeed likable in the film, portraying a dark strong determined character. I also think that her character's death gave me the hype, making it the greatest scene in the movie. Although, I didn't want her character to die, it still serves a great role in the movie.

Rumor has it that Angelina may be back for WANTED 2. They say that the director found a way to "bring her back", but he limited his answer to only these words. He didn't relay a specific information on how he will bring her character back. But I think it will be hard to believe that she really didn't die. *laughs*. Yeah, in the movies, anything is possible but that will contradict their plot in the first movie right,.? If she will be back, then i guess we missed something in the movie. It might be she didn't die at all,. Her last bullet blew a couple of heads before it got to her, making people assume that the bullet lost power to blow up her head. They assume that the bullet just injured her skull, not making any vital damages or whatsoever to her brain, making her to be alive and faking her death. Maybe to boost Wesley's spirit? I don't know. Other people say that the bullet just slid through her head, hey, they can curve bullets right,.?

Yeah i know, there are lots of ideas given by people because of this simple rumor. I wouldn't take sides on whether she will or will not be back. Heck I love her character, but I can't really say that I wanted her back. Well, we should just wait and see.. ;)

Subscribe in a reader

Guilty Pleasure - Ashley Tisdale

A totally surprising move by Ashley Tisdale..

Few Years ago, we met Ashley Tisdale on Disney's original series Suite Life Of Zack and Cody. We met her as her character Maddie, a candy counter clerk. We then see her as a bitchy Sharpay in the hit franchise High School Musical. Following the success of the first installment of High School Musical was the success of her debut album "Headstrong", certified Gold by the RIAA for shipments to US retailers of 500,000 copies. The album peaked a spot in different charts. Higher of 'em was at number 4. Her single "He Said She Said" was certified gold for selling over 580,000 copies in the US. Following that was the success of the sequels of High School Musical.

This time, she made an album "Guilty Pleasure". She stated at early interviews that this will be more "rock". In fact that's true. She leaked a sneak peek of her first single "It's Alright It's Ok" of her upcoming album. She then released it on April 14. The song was kinda like Pink and Katy Perry's style. Her music video for the single was released today. It's like Kelly Clarkson's "My life would suck without you" and "Since you've been gone" music video.

This upcoming album shows signs of hits and success for our dear Ashley Tisdale.. Can't Wait for the Album!

Subscribe in a reader

My Bloody Valentine 3D review

When i first heard of the title, I considered it a laugh. When I watched it, the movie itself proved me wrong. It was a great horror movie with great applications of the elements needed in horror films. There was gore and thrills of course and many more. The sounds they used added a great impact in the surprise/scary effect of the movie. All of that was great on its own but to make it work, you need a great story plot behind it. My Bloody Valentine 3D did have a great story plot. It has a great twist that can make the audience really confused. You can't even tell who the killer is until in the latter part of the movie. The twist made me concentrate more on the story plot. It made me think hard.

It was unfortunate of me, for some of the gory scenes have been cut. I don't know why the cinema did that. The gore adds a great impact to the movie, being in a horror genre. But all in all, the film was really good. I didn't regret wasting my money buying a ticket.

Subscribe in a reader

SmallVille w/ three new heroes! *spoiler*

**spoilers!**

SmallVille is going to feature three new heroes in their upcoming episode, Legion. The heroes are Saturn Girl, Cosmic Boy, and Lightning Lad. The three heroes came to the present to join Clark hoping to defeat Brainiac who is now in control of Chloe's body. Clark has two choices: save a friend, or save the world.

Saturn Girl will be played by Alexz Johnson, from Instant Star and Final Destination 3.

Cosmic Boy will be played by Ryan Kennedy, from The Invisible and Taming Tammy.

Lightning Lad will be played by Calum Worthy.Here's some scenes:



Subscribe in a reader

Love Me or Hate Me

I'm only human, you know that
I'm just like you, yes just like that
Sometimes I'm happy
Sometimes I'm sad
Sometimes I'm cheerful
And sometimes I'm mad

I like smiling for I'm cheerful
I'm so shy and I'm so bashful
They say I'm very friendly
When I'm there, you'll be happy
I'll be your crying shoulder
And stay with you forever
I'll never let you be alone
Because I'll surely make you feel at home
I want you to answer me,
Do you like me?

I'm silent but I'm deadly
You know, I can be scary
Revenge is what I thirst for
When my heart is filled with anger
You should beware
And get it when I stare
You don't want to mess with me
So now, do you hate me?

I don't care if you like me or hate me
As long as i stay happy
I live my own life, you live yours
Who cares? No one of course!

Subscribe in a reader

My Heart

My heart was closed since it was fooled
anger in my heart has always ruled
nobody came in, nobody until you
for you have this love that remained so true

you've fixed my broken heart
you've placed its missing part
you made it beat again
and now, I've really fallen

dug dug dug goes the beat of my heart
the safety in your eyes, i know we'll never be apart
The sincerity in your face, i know you'll never fool me
in your arms, i hope to be happy

i thought my days will be nights
but you made the sun return in my sight
my heart was enlightened when you came along
i hope our love will remain this strong

Subscribe in a reader

One Step At A Time

you hear your dreams whisper
they're calling you, just go closer
slowly you will grow
you have everything you need to know

one step a time
one day you will shine
take a step closer
be ahead of time
just take it slow
just one step at a time

each step, you're closer
to the pot of hidden treasures
the riches of life, your dreams
are closer than it seems

one step at a time
the sun will shine
you're one step closer
nearer every time
you take one step
one step at a time

one step you make
one breath you take
one step, one leap, you're closer
remember, take one step closer

Subscribe in a reader

With Love

WITH LOVE

I experienced love before
It made me feel so much more
The feeling can't really be explained
All of my senses never remained

With love, my heart becomes a blender
For so many weird emotions begin to enter
Sometimes I feel weird deep inside
It's like a roller coaster I like to ride

It has ups and downs, smiles and some frowns
I swim and I sink, and probably drown
I fly and I dive, I'm so lucky to be alive
Sometimes I get lost my way back to my hive

With love I feel great
With love, not hate
It feels like I'm in heaven with angels singing
With sweet bells and wind chimes ringing

Love's like a dream come true
Colors come to life, pinks and some blues
With love that's so true
Well that's what I feel, How about you?

Subscribe in a reader

Normal Person

NORMAL PERSON

I am just a normal person living in this world
I can sometimes be warm and sometimes be cold
I can have my emotions and change my mode
And have friends as I travel the road

I also have my feelings and secrets I hide
Sometimes I'm happy and sometimes hurt inside
My secrets, I always keep them a mystery
Especially my childhood that's full of misery

I grow up, learn, and make mistakes
I work, study, and take some breaks
In times of darkness where there is no light
I'd be strong and stand up to fight

I can't succeed all the time, I also fall
My dreams are blocked by so many walls
I get my fists and break them all down
I won't let this smile turn into a frown

I am so inspired by this light shining
With this light I shall keep winning
But the hardest part is what they want me to be
They want me to be anything but me

This time, I'll trust no one
For all my trust has been gone
I know myself better than anyone else
I won't be a prisoner inside my cell

I won't give up, I'll continue soaring
I'll keep standing and keep winning
I wont be anyone else but me
I'll keep shining and being happy

Subscribe in a reader