The Test Result

I've been exploring lately. Exploring even the things that aren't supposed to be explored - this early. Then it hit me hard: it wasn't right. It wasn't right at all. I was just finding me. But then again I guess it wasn't supposed to be rushed like that. Rushed as if I didn't even care for myself anymore. Rushed as if it was a shortcut to hell. Fortunately, it wasn't.

After the "test" result, I finally got a chance to breathe deeply. My lips jerked a smile. The result was what I wanted. I know this doesn't mean an open door to continuing what I've been doing - what I've been doing wrong. I've been abusing myself, my will, and my mind, and I know they didn't deserve this. I just know this means that I just have to put an end to this path I've been travelling on. Time to change my life, time to change what I've been keeping my eyes on. This is a wake up call for me. Now I know that I didn't have to wait for an illness to open my eyes to reality, and to change my lifestyle. I didn't need that. Nor did I need that for myself. 

A past love has been lost, a past me has been gone. I hope to unveil a new chapter in my life wherein the major character would have to be rewritten - where I should take a big step to change.

We don't need a red alert for us to change for the better. As early as now, start living healthy, and live loud.

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100% Smoke Free. Or is It?

Have you seen these signs anywhere? Where are they usually seen? Jeepneys, and other public transportation. I kind of emphasized on Jeepneys - well, I know you know why.

I usually dislike smelling cigarette smoke, but then who does? I even tell my mom to get at least a couple of feet away from me when she does smoke. One sniff of it, and I feel my lungs crumbling into pieces. A couple of minutes more, I'd expect them to be completely gone - into ashes. People, ranging from toddlers to senior citizens, board the jeep almost everyday. Inhaling the smoke from exhaust pipes from other vehicles is bad enough. What more having an almost daily dosage of second hand smoke too? Well, it just contains four times the toxic from smoke outside. How bad could it be right? I don't remember anything about the jeepney drivers having the immunity to this. Just plain insensitive.

Come on! They can just have a yosi break after a couple of trips. Are they that generous - generous enough to share lung cancer? I mean, jeepney drivers, you can keep your lung cancer all you want. We don't want any part of it. It's all yours. Congratulations!

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Blabberish Shit

There I was, sitting at the back row of the classroom as my teacher was continuously blabbering about something - something about thermodynamic systems, I think. My self was present. My mind, long gone.

I kept on thinking, dwelling on the pain that burst in my heart when someone, very special to me, kept on accusing me, insisting that I'm cheating on him, and his reaction when I tried to hug him. I may have overreacted a bit, but who could blame a broken heart.

I've been portraying a strong, happy person my entire life. I know I couldn't stand the feeling of crying in front of someone dear to me. So there's my decision - a walkout.

Was it because my pride was too high? No. Was it because I was feeling guilty? No! As long as I know, guilt and pain were two different things.

And there I was, my mind was absent in class. My teacher was blabbering about heat reservoir.

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