Dream Journal 005

My "classmates" and I went on a trip with a "professor" in an arcade. We were required to play a game, and the one with the highest score would win a prize (or maybe the highest grade, I forgot). The machine is designed with a lot of coin slots on it, and painted with anime girls - the characters in the game. You had to kill monsters that would appear in the screen using the gun provided. I let my classmates go first. I watched them play and all of them got somewhat low scores. I knew I got a shot at it - I knew I'd beat them. 

It was my turn now. I tried to insert a coin - a one peso coin - into the machine and I saw the sign "insert three tokens". Well duh! It would always be tokens. Why in the hell would I even insert one peso coins? I went to the ticket booth and asked for three tokens. I went back to the machine. I inserted all coins in one coin slot, and when I'm ready to play - the electricity went out. The screen went all noisy, and the machines all restarted. Once the machine was okay again, I inserted all coins again. Then the electricity went out again. It's like I wasn't even meant to play the game. My professor suggested that I was putting the coins in the wrong slot. I looked for another coin slot but then again, all of them was so thin that I doubted the tokens would even fit. Someone came - I didn't get to see his face but that's when my dream ended. I didn't know if I got to play the game or not. I didn't know if I got to win the highest score in the class. Who was that someone anyway?

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Sinister (2012)

SINISTER (2012)

Director: Scott Derrickson
Writers: Scott Derrickson (Screenplay), C. Robert Cargill
Stars: Ethan Hawke, Juliet Rylance and James Ransone

My Rating: 4.5/5


"When the lights go off, you're in for a big fright"

The movie opens as if it's a detective movie (well, yay for me. My brain's gonna work again) wherein you think it's gonna be just about solving how someone died, where the body is hidden, or maybe have some confrontation with the killer. Yes, it was that at first but then the film transitions into a paranormal, mystery one. 

You're gonna keep on guessing who the killer was, and it would definitely the one you've not suspected - well maybe if you pay attention to some of the details of the movie. But then again, I didn't suspect --- to be the killer in the movie. 

It's a fun watch, probably get a few good screams in it. When the lights go off, you're in danger. ^_^ I screamed, worse than my scream while watching Insidious. There would be scenes that would be very disturbing of course. If you're not used to seeing blood, well you have the options to close your eyes anyway. Story wise and fright wise, it's a good movie. If you want a good mystery-solving-scary-enough film, this one's for you.

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Dream Journal 004

I had a nightmare a while ago, and I thought of sharing it to you guys. I wanted to tell it the normal narrative way but then I was so inspired that I felt it would be a waste if I didn't write it in a poem. Here it goes:

It was after school,

"Get home immediately" was the rule;

As I approached, I breathed deep,

And smiled. Mom was waiting in our keep;

The walls were white, the roof mahogany,

And a tall white door stood in front of me;

As I entered, everything changed,

It just became very strange;

The place was dark and was filled with reek,

With a brown spiral staircase that ran very deep;

I slowly descended down the stairs,

And on the ground floor I became aware;

A doorway that stood very tall,

A doorway that led to a bright white hall;

It was probably the only light source around,

It was our house, but I was not very proud;

"Where is my mom?" I began to wonder,

Somewhere in the hall, I knew I'd find her;

On each side were olive green chairs,

And at the end was her with her black silky hair;

I ran to her and told her something,

Maybe something not worth remembering;

I looked around. The hall was then filled,

With people that stood perfectly still;

They stood there and looked at me,

It's as if they wanted to kill me;

As fast as I could, I ran away,

I knew I'd die if I would stay;

Before I could get out, a man stood my way,

He grabbed me by the wrist, but I got away;

I ran towards the stairs and looked over my shoulder,

He was following, his eyes filled with anger;

He shouted something over and over,

His shouts then became louder and louder;

Through the long flight of stairs I ran at my best,

But he grabbed my ankle and I fell on my chest;

I turned around and he was there,

Finally killing me with his creepy stare.

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Worse Than Death

I'm disappointed of what I've become

I want myself dead; want myself gone

I don't want another day in hell

I want myself dead; everyone can tell

I'd hit my head against the wall

I'd hit it again with a basketball

I'd crush my fingers with a vice grip

Fascination comes with the blood that drips

Middle of the highway, there I'd sit

Hoping a ten-wheeler I would meet

I'd crush my hands in a blender

Blood goes splat on every corner

I'd throw myself in an acid bath

My skin slowly burns; I'd enjoy the wrath

With a grin on my face, I'd grab a nail gun

Point it at my head, BANG, I'm gone

Hundred ways I'd kill myself

But something would top the list

Thousand ways I'd kill myself

A day without you is worse than this

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Feelings on Paper

I think of you day and night

I really can't help this feeling inside

I close my eyes, I see your lips so tender

Redness of cherries I remember

Your eyes, those large black orbs

They glisten, they sparkle, they I adore

You're like a portrait, a Mona Lisa

Imprinted on my mind

And now here are my feelings on paper

I hope you don't mind

I look out the window, I can't help but think

This feeling tattooed on my heart like ink

I'm afraid that you might be thinking

Of someone else, I'm a memory fading

Your problems I cannot bear

Was it wrong to care?

And now, my feelings are on paper

I know it may mean nothing to you

But please, let me say this once more

I want you to know that I LOVE YOU

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Accusations

I was dilly-dallying with my boyfriend over the phone. I came to the point where I told him how my day went. I told him that I woke up at around 11am, and I wasn't about to wake up until a friend called me. I told him that my friend was asking for an advice about his love life situation and I gladly did since he was a friend of mine. Then my boyfriend hung up on me. BAAM!

I texted him "Why did you hang up on me?"

Was he JUST A FRIEND?

Yeah! He was an old friend of mine.

Are you sure nothing happened between you two?

He was just a friend! He just called me because he was seeking for advice!

Who are you fooling?

Darn, he was so shallow. What did I do? I just helped an old friend of mine with his situation and then I got accused of cheating because of it? What happened between us? Well, I gave him advice. It's not because he called that there would be something happening between us? Phone sex? Really? I couldn't believe I entered a relationship without a warning label: To enter this relationship, please delete all friends. No thanks!

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Job 6:14

I've been reading Job this evening and I came across Chapter 6. There were lines about Job's thoughts on friendship but one line struck me the most:

Job 6: 14
A friend owes kindness to one in despair, though he have forsaken the fear of the Almighty.

A true friend will always be there for you. Will it be money issues, love life issues, and such, but a true friend will ALWAYS be there. Even if you "have forsaken the fear of the Almighty." True friends stick like a tattoo no matter how bad you have become, they'd always lend a helping hand to put you back on track. And with what I have been going through right now, I came to realize that I was blessed by God. He gave me pretty and handsome friends who never fails to give me guidance and advice whenever I need them the most. Even though I haven't shown my affection to them, I love them. Thank you guys.

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The Grip on the Wheel

My classes were over, and I needed to do one more thing before I could get home - get a new ID. To get to the cashier, I would have to ride an IKOT jeep. So, I did. I reached my back pocket and grabbed my coins, counted them and reached them to the driver. Bayad po I said. After the gentleman on my right kindly reached my payment to the driver I looked outside the "window". 

Para ho, a female voice said. It was coming from my left.

Para ho, she said again. But the jeep kept on going.

Para daw po I said. But then it was no use. It was until the guy right behind the driver poked him gently on the shoulder and said manong, para daw that the jeep finally went to a stop. 

The jeep continued on its route. Some passengers got off board and new passengers came in. We passed Kalayaan Residence Hall when a girl said para po. And again, the jeep kept on going. Para ho she said again. No use. The jeep kept on going, but the driver reached his hand back - maybe he heard bayad po instead of para po I thought. That was pretty normal. The girl went to try again. Para ho a final time until this kuya finally shouted Para!!. Kinda mean though. But then again if I was in his place, I would have been feeling the same. It would be definitely irritating to hear para po a couple of times over and over, and it would have been irritating to say para ho over and over but still it wasn't heard by the driver. 

When the driver reached his hand, I saw something I really didn't notice before. His hands was wrinkly - prune-y i may say - and were shaking as he stretched it farther. Afterwards he proceeded into gripping the steering wheel. His grip wasn't firm - well wasn't as firm as his grip was year before. He was just unsteady. He looked at the mirror. I glanced at him and it all struck me. He shouldn't be working at that age. He should be enjoying the life he may still have not enjoyed before. But I guess he HAD to. The hardship of living in the Philippines with little to none everyday profit showed in his eyes. He shouldn't be working. He should be enjoying. But then, when obligation comes in, you'd have to forget about enjoying life - even the last few years of it. His grip on the steering wheel showed his determination, perseverance, and his desire for his family to live a healthy life as possible. I couldn't do anything. At least I know that as long as his grip on that steering wheel is as firm as it is now, well I'm sure his family would have someone there taking care of them.

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Dream Journal 003

Have you ever seen an almost typical horror movie ending? The type where we think it's over and the heroine is seemingly travelling to safety and then the film reveals it's not? They say dreams are the journeys your soul has gone, and yes this dream was definitely a journey. A journey to safety - or not.

I was sitting in the backseat with my jaws resting on my palms, as I watch the trees pass by my window. I didn't know the driver, nor was I able to get a glimpse of his face. He has sideburns thick enough to patch a bald man's scalp. He was wearing a khaki explorer outfit (you know what i'm talking about). And this was all I knew about him. Soon, I dozed off...

I suddenly got a bird's eye view, but still I didn't get to see the whole thing that happened - or maybe i just couldn't remember. All I remember was the car went skidding to a stop.

I opened my eyes to see blood on the driver's clothes. I got up and checked up on him. He was a dead. A shard of glass pierced through his neck, with blood still gushing out of his wound. It was clear he was dead. He couldn't have been able to survive all the blood loss. The car was now placed sideways in the middle of the road. What hit us? Who did this? I thought. The hood was puffing smoke. It wasn't safe. I got out of the car and suddenly I went crouching against the car. I was hiding from something. I didn't know what I was hiding from, but I knew I was hiding from something. I felt my heart beat like the drums of war, and I felt sweat running through my pores. I need to get out of here. As I went to check sideways to find an escape route, I noticed something. The left front tire. It was hit by an arrow - a large arrow. I panicked. I knew I needed to get out fast to survive. Even though I didn't know what I was running from, I knew I had to get out of there. I looked to my left to see the savanna. Bad idea. I would be dead by the time I reach civilization - if there were any. I looked to my right to see a long lane of maroon fence, and a gate nearby. Better. I ran as fast I could and entered the gate...

I'm doomed...

I'm dead...

The other side of the gate was all hell. It was a rectangular pool of dead bodies, lying on top of each other, with large arrows pinned through their backs. They were the same arrow as the one that got the left front tire of the car. I felt a grip on my left shoulder. It was wet. I got to watch my yellow shirt turn orange. Blood. I looked sideways to see a good-as-dead man, naked, holding my shoulder. There were blood dripping from the hole on his stomach. He fell to the floor. Died. There was no way out. If I went back, I'm good as dead. Suddenly, I heard a soft creaking. It was the gate..

Did I survive? I didn't know. It was an open ending I guess.

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Dear Heart

"Heart, I know that I've been hard on you. I'm sorry for all the things I've put you through." - Heart (Britney Spears)

I've been active lately, heart, and beyond that actually. I've been wild. I've been meeting a lot of people that I know caused you such blenders. I'm sorry. I made you fall in love with people not even worth our time. I made you believe that we were loved - but no heart, we weren't. White lies have gone through my ears and hit you like a million daggers, piercing through every inch of you. I've been gullible, heart, and you know it's my weakness. With every face that came our way, different in features and in color, you've been beating differently for every one of them. We've been fooled, we've been fooled. I'm so sorry heart. Everyone gets hurt, and right now, it's our turn. When will it end? I don't know. Just keep on beating strong for me, will you? Just keep being strong, and for sure, we'll encounter this a lot of times in the future. Take this as our training module. We're gonna be soldiers heart, just you wait. Soon enough we'll be numb and feel nothing at all. We'll be smart enough to predict the predators' moves. We'll survive this. Tomorrow, we'll be so much stronger. Heart, just keep on keep on beating strong for me. This is going to be a tough ride. 

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Dream Journal 002

I was lying down in a soft cream colored bed with a fluffy comforter and tons of cream colored pillows. The ceiling was white, and the walls were princeton orange. I was thinking of what I should be doing that moment. I was alone, and so I thought. But then again I was not. Someone (a KEMer, let's call him K) was lying beside me with his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. I could see his rose lips moving - he was murmuring something too soft that I couldn't make out what he was saying - and I replied. I told him something that I couldn't remember. He smiled and kissed me on the forehead over and over and over and over. I hugged him tight and enjoyed the moment. It was soon afterwards that he finally got some Zs and began snoring - snoring like an elephant, but sounded like an angel to me.

I finally sat on the bed and looked at K. He was topless, unshaven, and he was perfectly still. I noticed a large screen TV meters away from the bed which by the way is at the center of a large princeton orange room. The frame was pink and the screen showed a demo of Dance Dance Revolution. I somehow got it to play, but I couldn't seem to find where the dance pad is. The floor was entirely covered with a blood red carpet. Where could the dance pad be? I quite began to notice that not the entire floor was covered - the bed. The space that was occupied by the bed wasn't exactly covered with carpet. I pushed the bed until some colored dots began to show. Pink on top, red and green on the middle row, and yellow on the bottom. A diamond. Two sets of colored dots that formed two adjacent diamonds. The dance pad, I thought. 

I began playing. The screen began showing colored circles, pink, red, green and yellow, that slowly rose towards a row of white transparent circles. I was playing Dance Dance Revolution I guess. I got the hang of the game was doing pretty well as far as I remember until it switched from Solo version to Double mode. The speed of the circles got faster and faster. My legs began intertwining into each other until I finally fell to the ground. I noticed K was already awake, sitting on the bed staring at me, with a blank stare on his eyes. I stayed there sitting on the ground watching him get up and began stepping on the colored dots. He was helping me. 

------------------------------------ END OF DREAM --------------------------

It was cut short. I didn't know what happened next, and I didn't know what this all means. But it was a fun dream. Fun fun!

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Another Date With Carla

Carla and I got together again for lunch Thursday, on the thirtieth of August. We went on a walk from Engineering to Area 2 - a place filled with karinderyas, and Milk Tea places and a lot more. We went to eat at the Lutong Kapitbahay. 

what I had: Longganisa (2 pcs) + SOMETHING ELSE (I forgot what it was -.-) + 3/2 rice

what Carla had: Sisig and rice 

As usual, we get to talk about both our "love life" and guys (my favorite topic btw) and our struggles academically. Tbh, Carla's serious with something right now. OOOPS! On the other hand, I'm enjoying mingling and having fun. After that, we went to UniversiTea.

Shaky hands + bad angle for me. Carla, well pretty as always

More Pictures

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Cramming Aside

I had an exam today, and I just got to know (or remember) about it yesterday. Whew. Good thing someone reminded me. Last night, I was planning to study right after getting home, but then again my lazy bones got to me that I decided to sleep early, and put studying aside for tomorrow.

With my mind already set - I'll study during my break (11.30-4) - I went to school and tried to study during my classes, and planned to continue during my break. I went in our org's tambayan to eat my lunch and proceed studying, without knowing that my plans would have to come to a pause when a cake has been brought on the table.

Our org, KEM, celebrated its birthday - August 26 - and was still celebrated today, through awesome ant-populated cake! :))

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More Pictures

Happy birthday once again, UP KEM!

Yes you've guessed it. I wasn't able to study, good thing the exam didn't hit me in the face... that hard :))

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The Loved Ones (2009)

The Loved Ones (2009)

Director: Sean Bryne

Writer: Sean Bryne

Cast: Xavier Samuel, Robin Mcleavy, Victoria Thaine

Genre: Crime/Horror/Drama/Thriller

Run time: 84 minutes

SPOILER!! SPOILER!!

At first glance, my first thoughts were that it would be a horror movie where this psycho girl who got bullied will plan on having her revenge during prom. I was partly right though.

The movie opened with a typical almost-running-over-a-mysterious-figure-and-gets-themselves-hitting-a-tree. Well this is a very important part of the movie - the scene that got to define our main character, a kid who got traumatized after killing his father. The movie then makes the audience see the drastic possible changes in their family. The first noticeable one was the mother - cheekbones exposed, cheeks dented, well for short: stressed. The incident had a huge impact on the family.

Then a weird girl got introduced. She tried to ask our hero if he would like to go to the dance with her, but then he had to refuse since he was already planning to go with his girlfriend. Then here comes an early sex scene. At first I didn't know the importance of it if it will only define their relationship, but right after, it was revealed that this weird girl - okay, she got a name: LOLA - was standing there watching them do it, without them even knowing. WEIRD! CREEPY!

I'm not gonna spoil  everything, but i'll spoil you the most interesting scenes for me. LOL. After our hero got abducted, the movie reveals the house of Lola's family. There were tons and tons of Barbie and Ken dolls placed on top of each other (different sex positions).

This girl has got to get laid!

Then when I thought the whole killing thing was gonna happen in the prom, well it doesn't. Lola brought the prom to her house with her forced-and-tied prom partner - our hero, Brent. She showed her photo album, where it got creepier as she had previous victims. She couldn't get the boys, so she would have to make a way - with force. Her supposed mom - "bright eyes" - has this weird-looking wound on her forehead which at first I thought was a gun shot wound. But then again I was wrong. Drilled. Yes, she did it with a drill and spilled hot water on the hole to make her previous victims zombie-like. Then she carved a heart on their chests. Yep, Robin did a fantastic job. As the movie went farther, the more I wanted to kill her myself. It was really believable. Three snaps for her! And then this weird hole or dungeon got introduced where there was growling. I don't wanna assume this time because I know I would definitely be wrong again. Down there were her previous victims whom she left there to starve and eat raw animals.

Just someone kill her!

I loved how she was portrayed, and I loved the plot except for the Best friend and Goth girl's scenes. I didn't even know the point of having them there. They didn't do anything but to hook up and have sex in the car during prom. They didn't even do something to help our hero.

Bottom line: I loved the movie, it was so worth watching. I believe the movie would stand alone let the best friend and goth girl's scenes be cut. The makeup was good, the acting was great, and the plot was good. 8/10. 

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Creep (2004)

Creep (2004)

Director: Christopher Smith

Writer: Christopher Smith

Cast: Franka Pontente, Sean Harris, and Vas Blackwood

Genre: Horror/Thriller/Mystery

Run time: 85 minutes

SPOILERS!!! SPOILERS!!!

The film opens with two people working in the sewers. They notice this new hole that leads to more parts of the sewers they never realized existed. Then a female scream gets their attention, that lead them into going deeper into the mazes of the sewers.

The film then introduces the heroine as a strong-willed, doesn't-care-about-the-poor type of character. She goes into the subway, hoping to catch the last train. But then she falls asleep. She misses the train and finds out she is stuck in the subway. A train stopped in her station and she got on board, but then it screeched into a stop. Then the horror begins. First, it was an unknown killer, and as the movie progresses it was revealed it was a screeching psycho. 

Thoughts:

• This is going to be an endless chase scene in the subway/tunnels with only two actors or maybe a few.

It gets more interesting, shifting from a slasher film into a torture porn. Then of course there's a moment in the film where they could have killed the monster, but they chose to keep him alive and run away. Probably to make the film longer? The scene that got into me was when the killer turns the faucet on and tries to wash his hands even though there was no water gushing out the faucet. Then he wore a surgeon robe or whatever you call it. Then after the torturing he went outside and looked at some bottles with fetuses inside, and then looked at the picture with an old doctor posing with a bald child.

Was he a doctor before he became a creep? If not, was his dream is to become one? Considering the killer has still some white hair left on him, was he the doctor in the picture?

More chase scenes follow. Then the creepy part was when the monster spoke and imitated the girl he killed. And then, you would hate the heroine for having such a soft heart- ironically as she was portrayed to be a strong, non-caring woman in the first minutes of the film - that she decided to have sympathy for the killer. Soft heart, wrong decisions. The ending, well, was a bit confusing. With her looking like hell after the whole thing, she decided to sit on a station. Passengers come in and one gave her spare change. She laughed and looked at the camera with "the look."

Will she be the next creep? 

I'll give the film a 7.5/10 rating. The makeup was great, the acting was good, but the characters weren't just consistent. There were dumb parts of the film where you would hate the heroine, and you'd assume it was written that way just to make the film longer. But all in all, it was a worth watch.

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Boy in the Mirror

I slide into my pajamas, getting ready to sleep, and take another look in the mirror. There's a boy staring at me. His hair, wavy - a bit frizzy - lean body, and a face that says "I'm stressed, help me." A bit familiar, in fact. Though it may seem nothing changed but definitely, I know something has.

I've been bombarding myself with tiring activities every week: volleyball, dancing, lather, rinse, repeat. And stress builds up on my system. I'm used to clinging into someone after a day of stress, and right now - being single for two months and all - I don't know who to cling to. I grew a bit distant to my parents, and slowly, I'm trying to work on that, but I usually look for attention from someone else - outside the family. Because of stress, I've noticed I became a bit demanding, and controlling of the people I care about. They say I'm the strongest among us four (Elem 4), the strong-willed, the outgoing one. But then again, the stronger I become, the faster I get hurt. I don't usually let people see I'm hurting or in pain. I cry it out in my room, and tomorrow, act like nothing happened. I may be strong, but right now I'm weak. I'm very weak. I'm just looking for a post I can hold onto I guess. My emotions are, I guess, as strong as I am. That's why when it bursts, there's no way to control it. That may be the reason why I'm not acting myself lately

And if you're one of the people who noticed that about me, among the people who I hurt because of this, I'm so sorry. I'm very sorry.

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City in a Bottle: Chapter One

It was a sunny morning in Folkswood. The grass at our front yard glistened, sparkling as dew coated their green tender skin. Mr. Roberts, wearing his Tuesday robe and green fuzzy slippers, walked by with Mr. Chuckles – his white terrier. He stopped by our mailbox and gave me a smile.  The wrinkles on his forehead showed his everyday worries and struggles as a working single parent – the father of my best friend,  Chris, - and his dark lips showed his addiction to smoking. I smiled back. Mr. Chuckles said hi with three loud barks as they finally went on their daily route. As I watch Mr. Roberts go smaller and smaller as he continued to go his way, I began to think how it was like to be a working single parent. How did he cope with his job while he juggled it with taking care of Chris and Mr. Chuckles. Did he ever consider remarrying? How about my dad? Was it hard for him to take care of me while mom was away working in another country? I guess I was too young to understand, and I still have school to worry about.

“Yo,” Chris greeted as he walked by towards our porch. He was wearing a black baseball cap, a black polo with white V-neck shirt underneath, his favorite baggy pants, and white sneakers. He sat beside me. Chris always had this skaterboy exterior but inside, he’s an organized A-lister-slash-social-worker. He would always finish our project ahead of time, have one-o-o’s in quizzes, and would always be there to fix a fight in class. I didn’t even know why we were best friends until now. We’re the exact opposite. But I guess knowing each other almost since birth got the biggest portion of the pie.

The bus finally arrived. Chris and I went on board. The bus was filled with rusty smell, wrestling with the colognes of the girls. Riding the bus for years now had made me immune. If someone else went on board, he’d be falling unconscious within minutes.

“Hi,” said Jim, “Marlon,” continued Jam. The twins were sitting on the right front seat. They were wearing the same clothes, orange for Jam and green for Jim. They had been taking the same seats since they started going to our school. "Hi Chris," they greeted.

In the second row, right behind The Twins, were The Nerds – Ned and Jasper. Ned was wearing his traditional side-swept hairdo that got stiff like cement thanks to his gel. He sported a green and black striped sweater vest and a white shirt underneath it. Jasper on the other hand was the thick-framed-glasses-wearing-guy with a coconut hairdo that preferred a simple getup – plain colored shirt plus pants. They never really talked that much. They just stared at us as we entered.

Opposite them were the pretty girls. Those girls had names of Carla and Sarah. Sarah was the pigtailed dancer girl who loved wearing pink. Speaking of pink, she was wearing a magenta jacket, a white shirt underneath, and a bubblegum pink skirt that fell inches above her knees. Carla was the prettiest among them all. Walking the campuses with her golden locks, she was sure to get the guys’ attention. Along with her red leather jacket, black tank top, and her white short shorts, I couldn’t dare to stare. That was their seats after The Goth Kid suddenly materialized and decided to go into our school. They were supposed to be seated second to the last row. But now, no one dared to take those seats.

Goth Kid, Jacob, sat in the middle of the last row of seats in the bus. He was wearing a black leather jacket, a fishnet top, and black baggy pants that came along with black combat boots. Tough exterior. No one dared sit near him.

We sat right behind Carla and Sarah.

“Hi there sweet cheeks,” Chris greeted as he pulled Sarah’s pigtails, “you too, sugar,” he greeted Carla.

“Ow! Jerk!” shouted Sarah.

Carla giggled, “hi.”

~xxxx~

The bell rang. It was finally time for English – last class for today, I thought. Ms. Heather walked in strutting her black stilettos – well, just making noise with it – as she dragged her bag along with her. She took a seat. She looked at the door and probably signaled someone to come in. The janitor went in, carrying a box. He placed it right on top of Ms. Heather’s desk and continued his way outside as he crumpled his rags.

“Homework,” Ms. Heather began. Aww’s and sighs thundered from all direction in the room. “One will get an item randomly from this box and he or she will be assigned to do an essay about it,” she continued, “It’s more of like a show and tell, but this time, I don’t want you to do the telling, I want your pens to do that for you. I want it all in paper. To be submitted tomorrow,”

“First up, Chris,” she announced, “please come to get your item.” She began to explore the box with her hand and after a couple of seconds she brought it up and gave Chris a – an eraser! What the - ? I thought. Seriously? An eraser? What am I supposed to write about an eraser asides from that it erases the mistakes I make in my life?

“Next, Carla.” Carla got a tambourine. That’s great – well better than a freaking eraser. I’d be able to write: It makes sounds every time I shake it. YAAAAAY. Or: It makes lovely sounds that send me straight into a nightmare. Great, nothing’s good in that box. I knew it. What would I get? No.. Please don’t be lipstick.

“Next, Marlon.” Shit, I’m next. I stood up quickly and walked towards Ms. Heather. She began digging up her box and it got me scared. What would I get? What would I get? Please be something interesting. Ms. Heather smiled at me. She gave me this bottle, filled with sand. Well, better than an eraser and a tambourine. Right? I sat down, and stared at it for long. I didn’t know what to write about it. Nothing exciting about it either.

After everyone had their items, Ms. Heather stood up. “We won’t have a topic for today so I’m going to give this time for you guys to start working on your homework if you like to.” Really? I don’t feel like it. I looked around to see everyone’s head bent down, concentrating on their pen and paper. They’re starting on their homework, but I’d better leave it be until later at home.

I gave another good look at the bottle. It was all sand in there, and – and ants. Okay, ants in a bottle. What’s to write about it?

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A Date With Carla

Carla is a close friend of mine who I consider my soul mate. I met her during our CWTS - Military Science. She was the dark curly haired-fancy-looking-snob girl standing in the corner when I first saw her. It was when I talked to her when I found out that she was basically not what I thought she was. We basically shared everything. We dine at the Flaming Wings almost every after CWTS class and we usually were the noisy ones in the team. We shared gloves, and even utensils during camping. Don't get me started with our camping trip. 

I had packed clothes and towels but I actually forgot the more important ones - utensils and toiletries. I'm thanking Carla for those. Without her, I'd be eating with my bare hands and basically just rinsing my body with plain water. Yuck. I even convinced her to be my Swing competition partner which I still consider was unfair. Two of our competitors were already pro at Swing, well generally social dancing. I choreographed out routine and actually put in some "intimate" moments in it. Well, the crowd did love our performance. So did the judges but I guess it wasn't enough for us to win.

It was months since we last met and I've been dying to see her again. We have been planning malling sessions but they all ended up being thrown straight to the dumps. Weather wasn't actually on our side. It never was. But then, if there's a will, there's a way.

College of Home Economics was having their Japanese Cuisine thingy in their building. They called it Mugen. It was set on Thursday. The tickets were priced at 200php per head. It was worth it. The serving time was from 2.00pm to 3.30pm, and we got in very late - around 2.45, with barely 45 minutes to eat. They welcomed us and presented us our tickets along with an evaluation slip. Our server, Diane accompanied us to our table, the only one left empty. It was just then that I got to observe the place.

The room was painted Red (as far as I remember LOL), and some parts of it were gold clouds painted on them. The left side of the room were wooden frames, where swan origami hung and danced with the wind that was barely there. The table sheets were red, and wooden table mats laid on the four sides of the table. In front of us were sets of forks that differ in sizes and a jar in the center. Two pieces of origami, colored red and yellow, rested inside of it. There was Diane, standing with poise, her hands behind her, as she was waiting for us to settle.

The appetizer was three pieces of toast break with tuna on top of them. A simple dish. I'm not into tuna but I liked it nonetheless. The main dish was spaghetti with seaweeds I believe, and something else I couldn't identify. I grabbed a fork, the fork right opposite me. I noticed that it was the smallest fork, and I looked around to see what others were using.

Tama ba yung fork na ginagamit ko?

I'm actually used to just having ONE fork. I laughed. I always do, when I feel dumb. I just crack myself up.

Ako pa tinanong mo!

We laughed.

That's when I saw this tall, light complexioned, chinese-looking guy. He was serving other tables (darn). Every time I looked at him, he looked away and his lips itched a smile. I actually smiled myself, and Carla noticed.

Bakit? May cute?

Darn, she knew me too well. I chuckled a laugh.

Hindi aah! Kung ano pinag-iisip mo.

I lied. She knew me too well, too well to know what I was thinking in that moment. I changed the topic and promised to tell her everything outside after we're done eating. The dessert was then served. It was a red beans crepe if I recalled right. It was served along with a choco latte.

After eating we filled up the evaluation paper tucked inside a cute charm that resembled the handle of a tea bag. We were supposed to put it on a branch of a leafless bonsai at the door. I placed mine and took a final glimpse at the cute guy then at Carla who was just catching up. She raised her charm (evaluation letter) up high. I kinda looked at her with an eyebrow raised. Where was she planning to put it? Then she just let go of the charm and it didn't even stick to the tree. It went straight to the floor. We both laughed, as she picked it up and placed it on the tree, this time finally successful. We went outside to the rocky path and as I promised, I told her everything. I looked behind me, to see if he might be there. But he wasn't.

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Dream Journal 001

I didn't know why, whether we had a financial problem or I had trouble with my grades, but I just woke up finding out that my dad transferred me to this college - unnamed.

It was night, probably because I had the night shift. I was walking the wet cobblestones in a dark alleyway until an olive gate stood tall in front of me. It was illuminated by a single light bulb on the ceiling. It was the only light source within about ten meters. Beyond the gate was a wide vanilla hallway with ash lockers on both sides. Before I made a step, a familiar voice said hi. I turned around to see that it was one of my high school friends, one of my close friends, Jemari. I didn't even know he was studying there. He was wearing a peach body-hugging shirt, beige checkered shorts, and a pair of black Havaianas. His face didn't change at all - the same as I last saw him. Behind him was another friend of mine, Jewvidal. He was wearing a maroon shirt and grey shorts. He stood shy behind Jemari. They invited me to go to the grocery store just around the corner. I said yes.

The grocery store was an ordinary grocery store, nothing special, nothing weird or anything but the fact that there were no cashiers - or at least that's what I saw. The clock above the drinks section struck 8pm and I knew I had to leave. I didn't bother to inform Jemari and Jewvidal that I would be leaving as they were busy checking out the snacks section of the store. I left the place, but a hand got hold of my collar. It was Jemari and Jewvidal stepping outside as well.

"Where are you going?" asked Jemari.

"It's 8, I have class."

"You don't need to attend class,"

"It's my first day, and I'm gonna cut class?" my tone rose, "no way."

I walked away and took a last glimpse behind me. Jemari went inside, but Jewvidal just stood there. He was staring at me. Silent.

I went to the principal's office (I didn't even know there were still principals in college, but hey it's a dream). The principal's desk was on the center of the large room and behind it was three doors. They were classrooms. Weird architecture, weird arrangement. The principal approached me with a smile. She was wearing glasses, a peach polo, and a black skirt.

"What is it dear?" she asked.

"I don't know my section,"

"Okay, I'll find the best section." Wow, favoritism?

It took her 20 seconds before she came back. She smiled and swayed her hands, pointing towards the middle door behind her desk. I believe that was my section.

I entered to see a pool of unfamiliar faces, a mesh of different colors, and fortunately, a friend. He was one of my best friends, Paul. He was wearing his usual blue shirt and a pair of jeans. As he noticed me, he ran towards me and squeezed me. We were shouting, like little girls who haven't seen each other for decades. It's just we couldn't believe we were classmates again after six years. A teacher entered, a male - wearing a brown polo, black slacks, and leather shoes. He seemed vaguely familiar, but I didn't care. I took the vacant seat in the front row. 

Our teacher began teaching simple mass balance exercises. WTF. I'm in my third year, and they're just starting to learn about mass balance. I knew I was wasting my time. I already knew that. I didn't have to relearn it all over again. I knew I needed to get out of there. I needed to get back to UP. I looked around me and my classmates were all staring at me. I didn't even got to see Paul. It's as if he vanished. My vision began to blur until my dad suddenly came in. He looked at me, probably checking on how I was doing, coping with my classmates and lessons. Before he could get out, I called him.

"When will you get me back in UP?" I asked.

He didn't reply. My eyes started getting teary; my vision, blurry. I didn't like the place. I didn't deserve to be there. I deserved to be back in UP. My vision went black.

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The Test Result

I've been exploring lately. Exploring even the things that aren't supposed to be explored - this early. Then it hit me hard: it wasn't right. It wasn't right at all. I was just finding me. But then again I guess it wasn't supposed to be rushed like that. Rushed as if I didn't even care for myself anymore. Rushed as if it was a shortcut to hell. Fortunately, it wasn't.

After the "test" result, I finally got a chance to breathe deeply. My lips jerked a smile. The result was what I wanted. I know this doesn't mean an open door to continuing what I've been doing - what I've been doing wrong. I've been abusing myself, my will, and my mind, and I know they didn't deserve this. I just know this means that I just have to put an end to this path I've been travelling on. Time to change my life, time to change what I've been keeping my eyes on. This is a wake up call for me. Now I know that I didn't have to wait for an illness to open my eyes to reality, and to change my lifestyle. I didn't need that. Nor did I need that for myself. 

A past love has been lost, a past me has been gone. I hope to unveil a new chapter in my life wherein the major character would have to be rewritten - where I should take a big step to change.

We don't need a red alert for us to change for the better. As early as now, start living healthy, and live loud.

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100% Smoke Free. Or is It?

Have you seen these signs anywhere? Where are they usually seen? Jeepneys, and other public transportation. I kind of emphasized on Jeepneys - well, I know you know why.

I usually dislike smelling cigarette smoke, but then who does? I even tell my mom to get at least a couple of feet away from me when she does smoke. One sniff of it, and I feel my lungs crumbling into pieces. A couple of minutes more, I'd expect them to be completely gone - into ashes. People, ranging from toddlers to senior citizens, board the jeep almost everyday. Inhaling the smoke from exhaust pipes from other vehicles is bad enough. What more having an almost daily dosage of second hand smoke too? Well, it just contains four times the toxic from smoke outside. How bad could it be right? I don't remember anything about the jeepney drivers having the immunity to this. Just plain insensitive.

Come on! They can just have a yosi break after a couple of trips. Are they that generous - generous enough to share lung cancer? I mean, jeepney drivers, you can keep your lung cancer all you want. We don't want any part of it. It's all yours. Congratulations!

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Blabberish Shit

There I was, sitting at the back row of the classroom as my teacher was continuously blabbering about something - something about thermodynamic systems, I think. My self was present. My mind, long gone.

I kept on thinking, dwelling on the pain that burst in my heart when someone, very special to me, kept on accusing me, insisting that I'm cheating on him, and his reaction when I tried to hug him. I may have overreacted a bit, but who could blame a broken heart.

I've been portraying a strong, happy person my entire life. I know I couldn't stand the feeling of crying in front of someone dear to me. So there's my decision - a walkout.

Was it because my pride was too high? No. Was it because I was feeling guilty? No! As long as I know, guilt and pain were two different things.

And there I was, my mind was absent in class. My teacher was blabbering about heat reservoir.

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A Memory That Haunted Me

I've had a dream and it took me a while to realize what it was trying to tell me. I broke down into tears this morning and that's when I decided I should write it down into paper - well, into my blog.

My Dream:
I usually take the LRT going to school and going home. And this time, in my dream, the LRT had another station: Inside a mall. I don't know what mall it is as I don't even recognize it. All I know is that the train passes through the ground floor. I head to the mall to board the train when I saw HIM. He greeted me with a smile. Nothing changed about him, except for his hairline - a little bit higher now. But he's still his old self. I went to the ticket booth to get myself a ticket, and he accompanied me.

"Ate, isang V. Mapa po," V. Mapa. was the station I get off when I go home. The ticket vendor gave me TWO tickets, for a price of one. I didn't know why. I asked him, "Bakit dalawa?" I didn't get a reply. The train finally arrived. I stepped in and watched the doors close in front of me - between us. He couldn't get on the train because he didn't have a ticket. Then I realized that I had TWO. I had his ticket.

Realization:
There was this guy whom I fell in love with in my junior year in high school. After months of denial, I knew I finally learned to love him. He told me that he had a crush on me way before we got to meet. He even told me he followed my progress. We had this kind of best friend relationship in school to the point where he asked me "can you be my best friend?" It was kinda awkward that he even asked it. Well, I didn't know people ask someone to be his best friend. I could ask him to go somewhere with me, and he would say yes, almost always. Then about a month later, he and his girlfriend almost broke up. I asked him why. "dahil sayo," he replied. Even though I knew there was sarcasm in it, I knew I felt guilty. He showed me her text message. It was all about him not having time for her anymore or something like that. I realized that he would almost always say yes when I ask for his time. That's why I felt so guilty. Before the year ended he asked me if we could be "together," and I know that even though I loved him, I couldn't say yes. He had a girlfriend. And he had a girlfriend. I know for a fact that he would want a family in the future, and that he would be happier with his girlfriend. There's a lot of things that I couldn't offer that his girlfriend could. I had to say no. Even if it was painful, I knew I had to let him go. That maybe the symbolism of the two tickets. I could have given it to him, making him able to ride the train with me. But I was so numb and didn't. And now that I know that he might be leaving soon, and that we might never see each other again, makes it so painful remembering all of the happy moments we had together. And now, as tears are rolling down my cheek, I know that he would always have a place in my heart, even though he had moved on.

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Chapter One

The bell rang and the people started marching along the beige tiles of the corridor. Slowly their footsteps began to fill the whole hallway. I squeezed my way through to my locker where my best friend, Marcus, was waiting for me. He stood around seven feet tall, the tallest in Seaside High, in fact, the tallest in the neighborhood. We've been friends since his family moved in next door and I was practically part of his whole life since then. His hair would always come out a bit frizzy and messy, and his outfit's color combination would often clash. I loved him nonetheless.

"Someone's birthday is coming up," he started "what's the party plan?"

"It's a month away"

"A month, a day, what's the difference really?"

"A whole lot," I just closed my locker and grabbed my keys "So you want a ride home?"

"Can't we just do the old fashioned walking and maybe have some exercise?"

I looked at him. Maybe my eyebrows twitched a little.

"Well, we can go pass the park -" he continued.

"Oh yeah! The park, maybe we can go smell flowers too while we're there,"

"Time of the month?" he stared at me. Disappointed.

"I'm sorry. Exams," I sighed "stress, and some other stuff. Well, you know."

I parked the car in the garage and my mom just welcomed me with a warm smile. Her golden locks just fell an inch below her shoulders. A trait of hers that envied me. I was practically the girl with frizzy hair. Without some moose, my hair would come out a bird's nest. She was wearing her working clothes - a brown v-neck tee with sleeves that were a teeny bit too small, a black skirt that fell an inch below her knee, a blue apron, black doll shoes, and a name tag that read Lucy Cohen, Manager. She worked at Joe's, a restaurant. It's a couple of blocks away from our house. She was working late night shifts and would come home around midnight. I had been used to it. I only got to see her once a day - breakfast. 

"I might be home a little late tonight sweety," she said as she grabbed her coat, "would you be alright by yourself?"

"Mom, it's not like it's the first time you've worked that late,"

"I know, just wanted to make sure. Your birthday's just around the corner and maybe you want some help with the planning. Just you and me, mother-daughter bonding." She smiled "what do you say?"

"That's alright mom, Marcus and Ashlynn would be coming to help with that."

"Alright," her last words as she closed the door. 

The phone rang.

"Hello this is Cohen's Residence," I answered

"Hello Mina. It's Ashlynn," she started "I won't make it. Got something to do."

"Aww," I sighed "well it's okay. My birthday won't be here 'til a month anyway."

"Thanks, love you. Bye" She hang up.

I sprang to my bed and turned on the lamp, illuminating a picture frame just beside it. My mom, sporting a bob cut and wearing a pink blouse, carried me in her arms. Beside her was a man, about a foot taller than my mom. His ashen hair was swept to the side neatly. His face, a little ragged and unshaven. Still, he looked like a celebrity. That's my dad. I used to hold this picture before I sleep. I missed my father. He was now working abroad as an Engineer, and now, he's just someone who missed a lot of important events in my life. I loved him still.

My phone rang.

Hey Mina, my mom won't let me out. I'm caged. A text from Marcus.

I didn't reply. I threw my phone aside.

I changed into my pink pajamas and tossed myself into my bed. I lied down, looking outside the window, hugging my pillow very tight. I was alone. But why do I feel a little scared all of a sudden. I'm used to this. Lumina, you're used to this. But then, my heart began throbbing. A little too loud to keep me awake all night. To supress my fear, I tried to focus my attention on the moon as in dazzles brightly in the night sky. Then I noticed a shadow, growing bigger until it blocked the moonlight from my window. There was someone outside the house. I ran to the window to check who it was, but the shadow ran away. He was heading for the back door! I ran as fast as I could. I raced towards the back door. I locked it immediately. My heart was throbbing harder. Who was it? What does it want from us? A couple of seconds passed when it occured to me to look outside the window just beside me to check if he was there. No sign of him. The front door! The front door wasn't locked. I dashed my way to the front door but I slipped, slamming my chest against the ground. I tried to reach for the door. It was too late. The door opened. A figure stood there. He took a step forward. My insticts led me to him, charging against him, but he got hold of my arms. I closed my eyes and screamed.

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Hush Hush book series

My sister and I have been addicted to the "Hush Hush" series of Becca Fitzpatrick. Once you've read a page, you couldn't just put it down. You just HAVE to finish it!

Hush Hush

I was really new to this Vampire-Fallen-Angels thing-o that has been buzzing around lately when I first read this. I usually read mystery, detective-ish novels so I wasn't really sure of what to expect when I first read this. I'm not planning on spoiling major details so I'm gonna have to put it to minimal.

Okay, the story mostly is all about a girl-meeting-the-boy-of-her-dreams cliche but there is a major plus in it. There is something about how Patch Cipriano is described that makes you want more of him. The character itself teases you, seduces you to read more. Well, that's my case. Another plus would be the setting isn't in a normal world - it's in a world where angels, nephilim existed. Yep, this book introduced me to a lot of interesting stuff like Nephils, Chesvan, Fallen Angels and stuff. 

The story is fast-paced so it didn't bore me at all, compared to the other novels where you spent a whole lot of time reading about 10 pages and it's just about the main character doing ONE thing. I mean, come on! And I really loved how the suspense built up to the end. 

Bottom line is: I just loved it! ♥

Crescendo

The story starts off from the events from the last book, and continues on broadcasting the love story of Patch and Nora.

This one has a lot of twists in it I may say. Better twists than the first one. This story, for me, is a character development for Nora Grey, the heroine of the series. It makes you see her as a person. Honestly, I got frustrated at her because of her selfish actions. But that's why I loved it. It's a story wherein the main character wasn't perfect at all. This story brought light to the dark side of the main character that made me understand her more. And with that, you get to have sympathy and love for Nora.

Silence

The third book, and the best one for me.

Honestly speaking, I hated how the first events turned out to be - well simply because I just want a happy story. Ha ha! Well moving on, this has a lot of mystery in it, especially for Nora's case. I loved how it involved more action and suspense. You get to feel the hatred for the antagonist so much.

The thing that made me love this one so much is Patch. Yes, him. Imagine saving your loved one's life in exchange for her memory of you. It's like you're suffering and he/she doesn't even know you exist. How sad is that? How romantic was that?

Like the first book, the suspense built up really well to the end that it left me hanging. Yes, it's the beginning of a war for Nora and Patch's world, and I really want to get to see the results of it. What would happen? Especially..

[Spoiler. Click at your own risk][Hide]
Nora's leading the Nephilim army now, - Patch's kind's enemy - since she's a nephil now. Would they end up fighting against each other? Would they end up teaming up against the archangels? Or what would the archangels' stand be?

The fourth book is, I believe, will be released this Fall ^_^
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My Daily Hair Routine

I have been off-track my daily hair routine because of all the stress and the demands in college. But now, I decided to return to my daily hair routine.

Things I don't go inside the bathroom without: [for hair only]

• Baking Soda Solution [every other day]
• Conditioner [everyday]
• Shampoo [once a week]

That's basically it.

Baking Soda Solution
I've done a lot of research on using Baking Soda for the hair. It does have its wonderful uses for the hair. First, it saves your hair from over-conditioning. When you use too much heavy conditioners, the chemicals stack up. That's gonna be hard to remove, and baking soda just does that. Second, it's all natural. Meaning, no side effects on your hair.

I prepare the solution by adding a 1.25 tablespoon of baking soda for every one glass of tap water. I read that the amount would depend on your hair type - whether it be greasy, oily, and it also depends on how curly it is. I store my baking soda solution in a wash bottle.

The undissolved baking soda settles when unused so better shake it before using it.

I pour the solution directly on my scalp. I then massage my scalp to make sure every corner is cleaned.


Conditioner

 When you're using heavy conditioners, always remember that less would be always more. More conditioner might just lead to more frizz and higher chances of over-conditioning your hair.

I just pour large coin size on my palm, rub my hands together, and apply them from the tips, slowly reaching the scalp. I let it stay for about 2-3 minutes in my hair. I soap while I let the conditioner get absorbed by my hair.




I don't really use shampoo that much because shampoo is a detergent, and detergents are harsh on our hair. Every time I use a shampoo, my hair usually gets double frizz. I occasionally use shampoo just for the reason of cleaning my scalp once in a while. Well, I have baking soda doing that duty anyway.


My styling products

• Gatsby Water Gloss/Wet Look
• Brazil Nut Define & No Frizz (The Body Shop)
• Vaseline Total Moisture Lotion

I don't use them all in the same day - just depends on my mood.


After showering, I dry my hair with my previously worn shirt as rubbing my hair with a towel will just encourage frizz to build up once my hair is dry. I crunch my hair with the shirt from the tips to the scalp to increase volume on my hair. Then I use one of my styling products. I've read that the best way to fight frizz is to prepare the hair before it gets dry. So I use these products on my wet hair.


Gatsby Gel

 My hair type's around 2b-2c (wavy). Frizz tendency is really high so I use this to let my hair stand in place. I apply some on my hand, rub them against each other and comb the product evenly on my hair. That's it.

But when I want some more spiral action on my hair, I do use the Skip Curl method using this gel. I apply a small amount on a portion of my hair, then I start twisting my hair (based on the way my hair naturally curls) and then I release it.

Note: Once you're done using a styling product on a portion of your hair, NO TOUCHY!!

Brazil Nut Define & No Frizz

I just love using this on a bad hair day. Lessens the frizz on your hair and adds a very exotic smell on it too. I place a small amount on my palm then I rub my hands together and apply it evenly on my hair. I comb my hair with my hands to neaten it up.



Vaseline Total Moisture

Weird right? But I just researched on this one and found out that body lotion can be used for the hair too. Guess what? Matthew Morrison (Glee) uses a skin lotion on his curls! Link: http://www.bellasugar.com/Matthew-Morrison-Uses-Lubriderm-His-Hair-8879125












That's about it. Comment away! ♥

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G-Crush

Right when I thought I wouldn't see him anymore - his cute, kissable lips, his nerdy glasses and his bangs that naturally sway to the side of his face - bam! I saw him. I saw him in the cafeteria. I tried to smile at him but my lips ignored my orders. I saw him, looking. That's where my heart started jumping. Might it be because he remembers me from my "Slave 4 U" performance during camp? :)) =)) Well, I don't know, but it seems he remembers me.

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Valentines

Happy Valentines to everyone! ^_^ especially to all those who had their intimate dates today. That, is so not me though. Well, Cupid got lost on his way to our house. Can't blame him. His tiny puffy wings might had been tired already. Well, as usual, I celebrated Singles Awareness Day instead :))

The streets might have been busy with romantic couples walking hand in hand along the sidewalks of the busy street, along the grassy fields of the park, or just out on a romantic dinner; I spent it alone, with my thoughts flung hundreds of meters away from my loveless soul, the same thoughts that had been haunting me these past nights - thoughts about my crushes, about someone who I truly admire which I, myself, deny - A LOT.

RANDOM THOUGHT: I love reading novels, and I truly love the most recent ones I've read: Hush Hush and Crescendo. I'm down to the last book, Silence (won't spoil anything MUCH here, just buy the series and be amazed! O.O) and it kind of bothered me. Isn't it sad to meet someone whom you met and loved before but you couldn't remember anything about him? Isn't it sad that he still protects you no matter what even if the price is you not knowing him AT ALL?

Happy Valentines!

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